Reno of the Turks plays some Civ 3
by Absolut Emai
Summary: It's based on the persona of Reno of the Turks (FF7) playing as the Japanese, and is intended as a Civ. 3 fic. Not FF7, as much as I love it. First (and only so far) Chap: Reno negotiates with Joan d'Arc, and old Foreign Advisor isn't helping much. Sorry,


Note from the author(ess. heehee!):  
  
When I wrote this there were only SEVEN entries in the Civilization Series fic section. So I keeck his butt and make one. Forgive me if it stinks. After all, everybody loves Angelo (the dog from FF8 ^_^). And now.........  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Civ 1, 2, or 3. Well I own 2 and 3, but I didn't make them. Or DID I??? Mwahahaha.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~p=~q, and ~q=h, therefore Mr. Trembley is a......... never mind.~~~~~~~  
  
(The player's name is Reno. Cuz Reno is cool. He's the best Turk ever. He is playing as Shogun Reno of the Japanese in Civ. 3. He is in the Middle ages, and moderately advanced.)  
  
Reno tapped his foot impatiently. Where was that fool? I'd sent an emissary to that pikeman over a week ago. He told me that Joan or whatever lady would be here 11:00 SHARP. That jerk. It's almost 3:00. Oh, here she comes.  
  
Joan D'Arc strode in calmly and plainly as ever, fully clad in her suit of armor and escorted by two male warriors, in case the militaristic Reno should become aggressive.  
  
Spare the broad some privacy, will ya? ... Reno hissed at them with an evil deathglare only a Turk could pull off.  
  
One warrior started: How DARE you speak that way in front of-  
  
Joan raised her hand for him to stop.  
  
Biggs, Wedge; I'll be fine. I've got ze lord's divine protectionne.  
  
But madam-  
  
Go! Her tone became more authoritative as she essentially shooed the men out of the room.  
  
So, Reno sneered at her, Took you long enough.  
  
I apologize. I had a meeting wiz Queen Elizabeth earlier today. I agreed to zign a trade embargo against India - zose baztards - and naturally she invites me to have a jolly cup of tea.  
  
Oh, DO go on. He rolled his eyes and sighed impatiently.  
  
Well, zat's about it. And I am running late for an inspection of Paris's water supply. (The Seine's water haz been looking raszer odd lately) So do be brief. Why did you bring me here?  
  
Well, JOAN, your little collection of knights piling up near Edo has not gone unnoticed. I am afraid you shall be forced to relocate them... (as he leans in closer) or my troops will have to relocate them FOR you.  
  
How about a Right of Passage Agreement, that would be bon, non?  
  
Foreign Advisor: The French troops outnumber us! That's not go- ACHKK!!! (as Reno chokes him to shut him up) OCCKAY!OCCKHKAY!! *pant wheeze* You know, the French have some extra Ivory they may be willing to trade with us.  
  
Oh really? Is that so? Well, Joan, I will sign a Right of Passage Agreement under the following conditions: You give me some Ivory for 20 turns.  
  
D'accord.  
  
3 Gil I mean Gold every turn for 20 turns.  
  
Oui.  
  
And the city of Rouen.  
  
(Foreign Advisor: They will probably be insulted by this deal.)  
  
POUTIN MERDE! Mon Dieu, you aren't SERIEUSE!?!?!  
  
I'm afraid I am. And if that doesn't suit you.  
  
I am outright INSULTED by tis deel!!!  
  
(FA: Told ya so.)  
  
I am warning you, Joan. Our SOLDIER troops are mobilized, and we also have the great Sephiroth in our possession.  
  
QUOI!!!??? Ze Nuclear Fission iz NOT learndt unteel ze MODERNE ERA!  
  
You fool. That is the name of one of our great, heroic leaders.  
  
Well I am ZERTAINLY NOT taking ce DEAL!!! C'est prePOSTerous!  
  
Well then... you are dismissed.  
  
Wait, Wait!!! I vill give you ze Astronomy!  
  
Nope.  
  
Magnetizm???  
  
Well...  
  
Music Tseery!!  
  
...All three.  
  
WHAAT???  
  
And the Ivory and the 3 gold per turn for 20 turns.  
  
YOU, sir, muzt be crAZY!!  
  
Well I suppose I am. Is is a deal or not???  
  
mutter, grumble...  
  
Is it a DEAL, I SAID!!!?  
  
Fine...  
  
(Foreign Advisor: You, sir, are a fink.)  
  
Well sue me.  
  
~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~~!~~~end~~!~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~!~~~!  
  
Well! That was fun. Even if it is stupid, I had fun writing it. Took about 20 min. Yeah I type slow. And If none of that Reno stuff made sense to you, then whatever. I don't care. It makes ME happy. 


End file.
